The whole world is hopelessly attached (addicted) to people, things, ideas, opinions, the opinions of others, places, their job, etc. It’s really hard when you first start trying to break some of those addictions and make yourself free.
You get a lot of flack from your friends and relatives who see your freedom as taking you away from them. They fight tooth, claw and nail to keep you in you co-dependent relationships with them. With them kicking up such a fuss you have to struggle with the voice inside your head which says, “am I really doing the right thing?” On both sides there is a lot of F.E.A.R. Do you know what FEAR stands for? False emotions appearing real. In other words attachment.
Even though you claiming your freedom and your right to think for yourself is logically a good thing, your friends and relatives will say all kinds of things to prevent you from doing this. You have to be very stable with every mud ball that they throw at you and just give love and good wishes in return, knowing that they are under the influence of attachment, addiction and F.E.A.R. and that things will eventually change.
Eventually their mud balls will get fewer and farther between and finally they won’t be throwing any more mud balls. This means that the attachment is wearing off. As you remain stable and serve them with love while maintaining detachment, your relationship will gradually become much more honest and clean. Now you can really talk about things with respect for one another with no need to force the other one to be a copy of youself.
The breaking of all addictions is the same, it’s always the struggle between the head, (logic and reason) and the heart, (feelings which are actually fear based, but appear to you at the time as very very real).
Attachment always causes sorrow in the end, even if it seems to create coziness and a sense of belonging at first. It is a very insidious vice. It masquerades as love. To get oneself out of attachment one has to use the head and truth and not the heart.
The heart will always pull you back into attachment. The proof of attachment is to ask yourself, how much happiness do you have? If you are not truly happy then you aren’t truly free either.
The opening scene of the Gita shows Krishna, (playing the role of God) and Arjuna, (a brave warrior) sitting in the chariot with two armies on either side having a conversation. Krishna is urging Arjuna to fight, but he is getting cold feet and saying, but how can I? I see my relatives, my teachers, my friends, everyone. How can I kill them? Krishna says, come on Arjuna, they’re already dead.
This scene is talking about the breaking of attachment.
[Special guest writer Carol Biberstein makes her living as an artist, art teacher and Farmers’ Market Bread Lady in Brampton, Ontario, Canada. She has been a student of Raja Yoga meditation for 6 ½ years, has changed a lot from the inside outward, and expects to transform completely. She writes about deep spiritual matters to inspire others to transform their lives. All thanks goes to the Creator, the one who inspires the re-creation of the world!]
One Comment
Very well said, sister! I like your analogy of mud balls being thrown at you when you attempt to break off attachments with family members. Attachment, as you rightly put it, is a form of addiction which masquerades as love and is one of the most insidious vices we have to guard against. To break off attachments is similar to going through detoxification at a spiritual, emotional and mental level. There will be “detox” symptoms (fear, anxiety,sorrow, pain) experienced but ultimately the process will lead to a massive cleansing and rejuvenation of the soul. That alone is worth it!