Worry can take a perfectly wonderful day and make it a living hell. Why do we do that to ourselves?
Worry cannot exist when we live completely in the present moment. In the present moment, we deal with “what is,” not with “what might happen.” In present moment living, our whole being becomes engaged with what is happening.
In worried living, our mind becomes obsessed with a hypothetical situation, and this impacts the body with rapid breathing and an accelerated heart rate, and perhaps it impacts the sleep. For some people, it leads to heavy drinking, smoking and drugs. For others it breeds diseases, like cancer, or heart disease, or digestive disorders. But it is the mind that starts the process, not the body. It’s a matter of consciousness and unconsciousness.
But eventually the suffering that we bring upon ourselves from worry serves the purpose of waking us from a bad dream. So don’t worry if you find yourself worrying. It sows the seeds of its own destruction, eventually.
How is it that the mind gets off the present moment and into a worrisome hypothetical situation? By not being fully engaged in the present moment. The person that lives fully in the present moment has no worries about the future.
But how do we live in the present? How do we establish a fidelity to the present moment when a future looks so good or bleak?
We do it by being alive to the joy of the present moment — by feeling the bliss of Divine Presence. We do it by feeling grateful for what we have, and by loving others.
It is a real challenge to live fully in the present. It’s something I have been striving towards for the last 30 years, but with mixed results. When I catch myself living in the past or the future, I gently bring myself back to the present moment. Or sometimes my wife brings it to my attention.
Why? Because every moment is a precious opportunity because the Divine Presence is available every single moment. We keep the Presence by not absenting ourselves.
To live totally in the present moment is to experience the ultimate goal of Infinite Consciousness. For Infinite Consciousness is a timeless experience. It is a state of complete oneness with God. It is a state that is free from conditioned thinking and fear. For what can there be to fear if you are Infinite? But those who have consciousness to their Infinity are the exceptions to the rule. They are very rare. The Perfect Masters. But for the rest of us, what can we do?
What we can do is strive to live in the present moment more and more. And we can pursue avenues of being that facilitate this. We can try to increase our awareness of the Divine Presence, which is the Real Self in every finite self. Therefore, we can love this Divine Presence by loving others, and serving others. And the more we think of others with love, the less we focus on our own worries and preoccupations with the future.
I believe that when a person is at that point in the journey where he or she is destined to turn inwards, it happens one way or another. When people resist, they are pulled inward through misfortune or illness.
I remember what Marlon Brando said to famed attorney William Kunstler, “The messenger of misery has visited my house today, and if he hasn’t visited you yet, he is on his way.”
But Brando had it wrong. It wasn’t a messenger of misery. It was a messenger of a deeper world, of broader horizons, of unlimited possibilities. It only seems like misery because it breaks our attachments. The messenger of misery, if you want to call it that, comes with a wonderful compensation, as described by Emerson, in his essay on Compensation:
“And yet the compensations of calamity are made apparent to the understanding also, after long intervals of time. A fever, a mutilation, a cruel disappointment, a loss of wealth, a loss of friends, seems at the moment unpaid loss, and unpayable. But the sure years reveal the deep remedial force that underlies all facts. The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat later assumes the aspect of a guide or genius; for it commonly operates revolutions in our way of life, terminates an epoch of infancy or of youth which was waiting to be closed, breaks up a wonted occupation, or a household, or style of living, and allows the formation of new ones more friendly to the growth of character. It permits or constrains the formation of new acquaintances and the reception of new influences that prove of the first importance to the next years; and the man or woman who would have remained a sunny garden flower, with no room for its roots and too much sunshine for its head, by the falling of the walls and the neglect of the gardener is made the banian of the forest, yielding shade and fruit to wide neighborhoods of men.”
I found this compensation operating in my life 32 years ago when I became seriously ill and was hospitalized for 20 days. It operated a complete revolution in my life by ushering in the inner life. I remember distinctly all my worries evaporating into the nothing they really were.
The severity of the pain gave me my first extended experience of living in the present moment. For how can you escape the present moment when experiencing physical pain. I have always looked back on that episode in my life with gratitude and fondness because of the transformation I went through.
I remember when a doctor told me they needed to perform surgery. I was already in such pain that the pain of a surgery didn’t even register as a concern. Rather, I welcomed the surgery as a chance to get some rest by way of the anesthesia. And for the 20 days I was hospitalized and as bad as the pain was, it kept me grounded in my body and out of my wandering mind. It broke a habit that went back lifetimes.
When the pain lessened, I was still in the present moment, but now instead of experiencing pain, I was experiencing bliss. And that bliss was sufficient to keep me in the present. And more importantly, it revealed to me that there is a deeper reality to life than worrying about the future. There was the Divine Presence to commune with.
As Brando attested, the time comes for everyone. And when it does, it will get your attention, and if you are fortunate, it will also take away all of your worries. A little bit of suffering leads to a little bit of peace. But great suffering leads to great peace. Embrace it when you get the chance.
