Nobody will ever admit they have a fear of success. The ego won’t let them. But it is the ego that uses subtle tricks to undermine success if it will mean a whole new kind of life. The ego likes the old and familiar.
Why? The ego is all about identity. To have a new identity is tantamount to having a new ego. The ego loves resistance for resistance keeps it intact.
Why do you think people have such a fear of death? It is the end of the old and familiar. It involves a letting go of the ego’s domain of “I, Me, and Mine.”
The notion that we have a choice is largely an illusion of the mind. The mind doesn’t give you a choice. The mind is so preconditioned that almost everything that it does is in reaction to something else. Addictions, anger, delusions, and illusions are all part of the mind’s operating system.
But some people do succeed. Despite a fear of success they overcome it. How is it that some people can succeed while so many can’t? It’s because some people have learned to control their ego-mind. This success is in direct proportion to the ability to live in the present moment. It is in the present moment that new life unfolds.
The ego-mind loves the domain of the past and the future. The past is dead but to the ego it is evidence of its existence. “I did this, I did that. I succeeded. I failed. I have proof.” That is all stuff of the mind. It has nothing to do with what is happening now. What we are is not necessarily an extension of what we were.
What we are is beyond what we know. To come into possession of what you are is to say yes to what is unfolding in you every moment. But the ego mind loves to say no.
It says no out of fear. A fear of success and a fear of life.
Yes, yes, yes
Try this experiment. Say yes to every request and every invitation you receive in the next 24 hours that is conducive to life and is legal. If someone at a bar asks you to dance, say yes. If someone invites you to give a talk at his or her son’s high school about your career, say yes. If someone asks you to marry him or her, say yes. If someone invites you to march for peace, say yes. You get the idea.
Sometimes it is you doing the asking of yourself. You might get an idea of something new and exciting and your mind says “No, bad idea. It will never work.” Don’t listen to your mind in those situations.
Life is trying to unfold in us every moment but so often all it hears is “No.” If you have a fear of success, “no” is a comforting word.
If you have to say “no,” write 500 words on why you said no. This will give you an insight into how your mind works. This gives expression to awareness and consciousness. You might see a pattern of reaction. You might see fear. You might see that you have no reason to say no but that it’s a conditioned response. “My father always said no. My mother always said no. So Goddamnit, I’m going to say no too.”
You will find that a lot of your “almost automatic no responses” are out of apprehension. It all boils down once again to fear of success.
Here is what my favorite poet Hafiz says about “Yes.”
Every Movement
I rarely let the word “No” escape
from my mouth
Because it is so plain to my soul
That God has shouted, “Yes! Yes! Yes”
To every luminous movement in Existence.
I remember when I first read these words of Hafiz. They forced me to realize that so often when I say “no” I am saying “no” to life. I now say “yes” so much more often than before because Hafiz has made me ashamed to say no. I sometimes still say no, but if I do, it is a much more conscious no. I make sure it is not out of a fear of success, or even worse, a fear of life unfolding.
